


Sweetest Words From Your Lips

by lover_of_blue_roses



Series: Jimercury Week 2020&21 [10]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Eavesdropping, M/M, Miscommunication, Not beta'd we die like men, Reconciliation, almost break up, and they do!, two men in love that need to get their shit together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:08:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29280477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lover_of_blue_roses/pseuds/lover_of_blue_roses
Summary: Freddie wants to make amends with Jim, he doesn't want them to break up, but that's before he overhears a conversation between Jim and his friend. Now Freddie has a choice to make, keep trying on Jim, on their love, or cut his lose and wash his hands of it.
Relationships: Jim Hutton/Freddie Mercury
Series: Jimercury Week 2020&21 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1622485
Comments: 6
Kudos: 15
Collections: JimercuryWeek2021





	Sweetest Words From Your Lips

Freddie had messed up again, only this time it was really going to be different, he was really going to make this right. Normally it was Jim that would reach out, hoping that with tempers' cooled he could be invited back. But that was hardly fair when Freddie wanted him back just as much. It shouldn't always be him doing the effort, putting in the work to fix their relationship. If Freddie didn't get it together, and quickly, this relationship would end like all his others, as a complete failure. At this point, it was on his end to maintain it and now he understood what that meant, what Jim wanted which honestly was the same thing Freddie wanted.

That's why Freddie had Phoebe find John Rowell's address. He was Jim's closest friend in London and the two other times Freddie had sent him packing, Jim had ended up here. Freddie straightened his shirt though it was nothing too fancy, he didn't want to be intimidating. He didn't want to come off like he didn't care either, which was why he was well-groomed while still dressed casually in a blue t-shirt and his regular leather jacket but without the sunglasses that most often accompanied it. 

Freddie touched his hand, his ring finger where recently Winnie's ring had rested. But that time was over, he'd left Munich and Winnie behind and was determined to be dedicated to only Jim. He took a breath, he could do this, he hadn't really been in a monogamous committed relationship since becoming a rockstar but mostly because he'd never thought he could, never thought he wanted that. Being with a man couldn't be like being with a woman, there was no end goal of marriage and kids. And so he thought he couldn't have the same kind of relationship, but now he sees that he was wrong.

Jim has helped him see that he was wrong, the man pushing him to be better and do better. And Freddie wanted to be better for Jim, he wanted to be everything to Jim. Someone Jim could love. They just both had to turn the page now. Freddie enjoyed how jealous and possessive Jim got when he flirted with others, but he also hadn't- It's not that he hadn't been able to stop, just that he hadn't been interested in trying not to be with someone else. As fun as flirting was, sex with someone else was always exciting and thrilling. And he'd been so shortsighted as to seek only the instant gratification over the long term pleasure that was having Jim in his life.

And so Jim in his turn had flirted and left with a man in that club. At that point Freddie was already gone, only having Joe to relay what had happened. Freddie was well aware that he could be a jealous monster filled with rage and fury, asking that his partners not stray when he had no intentions of behaving that way himself. He doesn't think he'll change in that his jealousy will always be part of his nature, but he could... he could do things right for once. They could put this behind them, they could pledge to be loyal and faithful. It hadn't been what Freddie had wanted before, but it was what he wanted now. He was sure of it.

Having climbed the four flights of stairs without an elevator, Freddie was finally at Rowell's door and poised to knock, poised to swoop in and regain the love of his life when he heard them. The door must be flimsy for noise to so easily travel. And what Freddie hears stops him dead in his tracks. "But I think I do love him." It's Jim's voice, Freddie would know that Irish brogue anywhere.

"Love him? You barely know him." Rowell didn't sound like he remotely agreed with Jim's statement. A statement he had made rather casually especially considering he'd never said it to Freddie's face before. Jim didn't sound angry or impassionate, just... casual, like he was remarking on the weather. 

"I know enough to know that I love him."

"Wasn't Peter just saying it would happen again? And then that Freddie would just accept you back, again, as though it was nothing? Not his doing. You should really rather wait for him."

Peter? Peter... Straker? Had that vicious man finally turned on Freddie? Used the same bitchy qualities Freddie saw in himself and struck out against Freddie and his relationship. And this Rowell was going to... was going to encourage Jim to not follow his heart but crawl back to Freddie. Like they were swindling him. If it worked out they could hook him for a lot, Freddie had felt like he was ready to lay the world at Jim's feet, and if not, well then they can always just sell him out to the press. What a story that would be. Another front-page headline three inches high for his papa to see.

"It doesn't matter John. When it's love... You can't ask me to do anything else."

The good news if it can even be called that is that at least Jim doesn't seem to be tempted. All the man seems to want is his love, which... while it breaks Freddie's heart, he can't help but to agree. All he wants is for Jim to be happy and loved as he desires even if it can't be him. 

"Jim please, for once think about yourself, what you're worth. More than this."

"I know I am, I know exactly what I'm worth. That's exactly why I have to do this."

Freddie's body feels locked in place, as though his body has turned to stone. But these words are far scarier than Medusa's visage. He'd always wanted to believe Jim when he'd said he didn't want Freddie's money, when he'd insisted on paying rent, on working for a paycheck. And Freddie's hope, his trust in what he saw from Jim refuses to die even as the reality of it threatens to engulf him. It is as though everything he's known is a lie. Who would want him if not for his money, for his fame, for what Freddie Mercury can do for them? Freddie had been naïve enough to think he'd found the only person that was real.

Freddie hears Jim's voice as though from far away, his body feeling numb and distant, "Because far more important than my pride, is us. He and I, we really could- we have something special, something unique." Fred had always thought that it had been he and Jim that had something unique, something special but no, he'd just been the cash opportunity that had fallen into his lap. Really it had been disgraceful how aggressively Freddie had thrown himself at the man who had made it clear he wasn't interested. 

It's probably not just the money, Freddie tries to console himself, Jim also probably enjoyed the experiences. Being jetted from Britain to Germany for a weekend, the partying, riding in a Royce. Something to gossip and remember fondly even if Freddie was just that means to an end. "And I'd be a fool to let that all go just because," Jim sighs as though this isn't the first time he'd spoken of this, "Freddie can behave like that."

"Like that? Like what Jim?" Rowell's tone isn't one of curiosity at all, it's aggressive and accusatory as though he's really saying 'Say it out loud. Put into words exactly how that bitch behaves.' 

Rowell's not wrong, Freddie acknowledges as he leans his weight against the corridor, surprised his legs have even held out this long. He did behave abominably and Freddie doesn't think he'd accept his behaviour no matter how much money it was, especially not if he was in love with someone else. 

"I'm not saying it was right but Freddie was just- I knew what he was like when I agreed to go out with him-"

"You can't be alright with it-"

"I'm not!" For the first time Jim has raised his voice, frustration and sorrow evident in his tone. "I'm not, I'm not. I don't know what I'm going to do. This is tearing me apart." There's a sound, Rowell comforting Jim perhaps or maybe Jim collapsing on a couch. 

"I'm sorry Jim."

Freddie feels the need to knock, to tell Jim that he can make it really easy for the man and tells him he wants nothing to do with him. But Freddie is not that selfless, he desperately wants Jim to choose him again and maybe this time if Freddie is much, much better, he can win him over. Have him forget all about this other person and fall for Freddie. Freddie's not exactly sure how to be charming but enough of his exes have said it, or maybe it was only his money and generosity that was so convincing. But Freddie would be willing to spend however much it would take for Jim to choose him, and to stay. He would shower Jim with whatever he wants for the rest of his life as long as that life was at Freddie's side. 

"I just..."

"You just love him, I got it," Rowell teases.

"I really do. If you knew- If you knew what he was like behind closed doors, he's so thoughtful and sweet." Freddie wishes that could be him, that he could stop being so needy and clingy for love all the time, even as he is distant yet flirty with others. "Shy really, and so so loving." That sounds like- Freddie swallows dryly as he fidgets. 

"I don't- Even if he doesn't want me back, I have to try." *Back?* So he... this was really about Freddie and had been all along? Or maybe Freddie was just wishing it so, projecting what he wanted. "I have to because-"

"Right because you love him, but is that really enough? If he doesn't treat you and your relationship with respect." Rowell's got a point and Freddie wants nothing but to defend himself, except that it's true. He hasn't been treating Jim right, that's why he's here to apologize for what he's done and promise to do better. It's not like some of their other old fights where they fought about something stupid, forgetting what even caused the argument, and then just forgive carte blanche because it was trivial. This time it was different, Freddie realized and acknowledged that. And this time it would be Freddie that was apologizing. 

"That's- That's what I'm going to make clear. He really does care about me, and if he's had time to cool down, not have his temper get in the way, I think he really will listen to me. I'm not just planning on running back into his arms. I will tell him what I think, how I feel, and *he* must promise to be better. I won't go back to him if this is how he insists on behaving go forward, but- You weren't there John, you don't know him like I do- and I think..." What Jim says next is spoken so softly Freddie can only hear it by nearly pressing his ear to the wood. "It's not just that I love him, but that I think he is worthy of it, of my love."

Freddie gets choked up, tears coming to his eyes. That's what- That's all Freddie could hope to be, someone worthy of Jim's love. And he understands that means he must be different than his previous cheating, lying, manipulative ways. He must be better, and he wants to be better. He wants to form more meaningful, deeper connections, to be truly intimate and vulnerable with someone. If he treats his relationships like they are disposable and have no value, then he shouldn't be surprised that's how they turned out to be. 

Finally, Freddie lifts his hand to knock and nearly raps his fist against Jim's head. "Eek!" Freddie jolts backwards not expecting him so close, even after listening to him through the door it's still startling to see him so near after weeks of being apart. Freddie doesn't even want to go through that again, not even phoning to keep in contact. "I- Jim, you look good."

And it's true if Freddie isn't just being hopeful again, Jim has dressed himself much like Freddie in his understated best clothes. "Thanks, you too," Jim states in that simple but honest way of his. It's not just a courtesy, Jim's eyes eagerly take Freddie in as though he too has missed seeing him.

"I- Well actually I could hear your conversation in the hall through the closed door," best to be vague about exactly since when he'd been listening in. "Was that me you were talking about?" Freddie cuts him off before Jim can even answer, "I-No. I was going to talk to you anyways, of course, that's why I'm here. And I was - honest really- going to make amends and promise to do better you can ask uh Phoebe or Terry. Please know I'm not just doing it because you said that, I really truly-"

Jim pressed his hand against Freddie's mouth as he maneuvers him into the flat as Rowell politely dips out even though this is his home so that they can have some privacy. Silly of Freddie to forget when it is his fame that shines such a burning hotspot light on their life. "Tell me, what exactly are you going to change, going to improve?" It's a good question to ask, as it can prove if Fred has learned his lesson, or is just parroting from what he heard through the closed door. 

Jim knows better than to ask for an apology as Freddie tends to be too prideful and forgetful to actually do such a thing, nor would he necessarily even think it was needed. Jim should have just known what kind of relationship he was getting into when he'd be chosen in part because he looked like Winnie and was only there to make the other man jealous.

Freddie straightened his posture, as though he was presenting this information in front of a board, "I want to be in a committed relationship with you. I- I was wrong in thinking that what I wanted was the same kind of casual relationships I had previously, or that we engaged in before. Now I want- I want to be what you want. I know- you've expressed to me you want to be in a monogamous, serious, relationship. And now I realize I want that too, and not just because what I want most is you-" 

It's not returning the 'love you's Freddie heard through the door but it's so terribly close, Jim can't help but to close the distance with Freddie, holding the singer in his arms. 

Freddie turns the embrace, cupping Jim's cheeks and cradling his face. "You mean so much to me, I want you so much, I'd hate to lose you over something so trivial, something that doesn't even matter to me."

"That's why-" Jim doesn't want to be too demanding, pushing Fred away with his demands when he is already making an effort, but John is right. Jim does have enough self-respect to no longer be a doormat just because he's afraid of losing the man he loves. Freddie doesn't deserve Jim's love if he can't respect Jim and his wishes. "If it's just trivial and meaningless, that's why I would ask you to stop. Stop the flings, the one nightstands. I would even ask that you stop the serious flirting. I know," he huffs out amused, "You like it when I get jealous and possessive over you, but you don't need that for me to want you. I always want you, you're so beautiful and passionate."

The emotions are clear, and welling in Freddie's eyes as he holds onto Jim even tighter and tries to get closer to him as though they are not already chest to chest, as entwined as they can be. "I do too- I mean you're- I want you, yes. And this... This all means you'll have me back? Because you love me and I'm willing to be better?"

Jim laughs as he kisses Freddie, kisses that are easily returned. "Yes, yes you daft man, I love you." Freddie hasn't said he's loved him, not today, not yet, but Jim would be willing to wait a lifetime to hear it if he gets to spend that lifetime at Freddie's side.

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: Overhearing a love confession, and double jeopardy of 'Miscommunication'


End file.
